The relationship, which is nothing but is a strong bonding, bonded the whole world in one thread. In this period of COVID 19, all countries are facing the challenges of saving their citizens. And this bonding called relation worked well. The countries that have strong relationships got recovered soon. Because other countries supported them to get recovered. Those who don’t have strong relationships faced more challenges or still facing. So, it becomes important to build a strong relationship.
Now we can say that relation is the thing that is invisible. But have a kind of connection between two objects, Humans, goods, or anything.
Here we are going to talk about humans’ relationships. In humans’ it has the best life living tools. Like-Love, attraction, happiness, satisfaction, responsibility, trust, growth, joy and entertainment.
The relationship has this much important thing for the better life which everyone wants. Then it would be required few things for getting strengthen. Here are the required inputs for a strong relationship:
Love and respect
Understanding of condition
Understanding need & greed, important & unimportant
Making partner happy
Mind your words
Finding the goodness
Avoiding the badness
Spending time with the partner
This is the most important weapon for building a strong relationship. It takes the relationship to the peak of strength. I have observed that very few people focus on building trust. Because they could get to know trust is the foundation of a strong relationship.
Let’s understand through an example, how does it work-
In a family husband and wife live, both work in a different company. One day someone came to the husband and said “I have seen your wife having coffee with a man in a coffee shop late at night.” This speech resulted that the husband started doubting because negative thought comes first. He started thinking “she didn’t share this with me, how can she do that bad? who might be that man? what type of relationship do they have?”
These thoughts made him angry when his wife come he started shouting. Even he didn’t ask any of those questions which were rising in his thoughts, this is the result of weak trust.
These types of situations are very bad and it starts spoiling relations.
If the husband has understanding, he would ask different questions to that person. Like- who was that person having coffee with? What were they talking about? Is that man belong to her office? And more questions.
Eventually, he would take the decision, is that bad or not. If bad then react angrily, if not then no reaction would be there. If the trust would be there, the husband listens and leave. Because he would know well she could not do that bad.
It might be when she comes, he asks about coffee and that man having coffee with and shares what that stranger said. And his wife would make clear all those things.
It may happen with the wife also, and this founds a strong relationship.
It might be the wife ask the husband to complete certain work but he could not. In case of the presence of understanding, she will ask why did you not complete it. If trust is there she would get to know might be he was busy with important work or forget or other reason.
In absence of understanding, the wife starts doubting. And doubting means negative thoughts come first which results, getting angry. I think you are quite clear about what will happen after getting angry. Like this these trusts and faith work.
If you are in a relationship with a girlfriend or boyfriend. You should build the trust that you are loyal to each other. Any type of doubt should not take place that you are not born for each other. In most cases, a breakup happens because of this doubt. If any type of doubt takes place between both. You should take few minutes to clear all the thing, which cures your relationship of weakness.
Love and respect-
In the world, every human requires few things. Like- comfort, love, happiness, reported life, and more.
Every human love getting respected so, give them what they deserve.
In a family, if a wife is there, behave like a wife, it means sometimes request her and sometimes ordered too. But don’t order her like a servant.
The most important thing is, make her always feel that she is the wife. She has equal rights as compared to other family members. This will make her feel good, which blooms a strong relationship. This should perform by all members for all.
There is an exception, when Langotiya friends (Childhood friends) are there, their talking way is a little different. They don’t mind language too much and don’t give respect too much. Because they very well know each other and have been connected through the heart for a long time. Their relationship has been already very strong.
A good and strong relation gives us love and happiness. But my dear friends we need to understand love means sacrifice, nothing is to get. In love, you will feel happy while gifting your loved one. In return, you will see the smile and happiness on his/her face. which is the biggest return. This applies to every human.
One more thing also needs to understand, in a family, nothing is divided. Whatever is in the family all members have equal rights, expected personal things. If two members of the family want to use the same asset at the same time, then it needs to decide what is important. This circumstance required sacrifices of choice, will, or wants. This sacrifice of our choice, want, and will is not too tough when your relationship and its love are stronger.
In a group, family, state, country, or team, the leader plays the most important role. The leader’s happiness comes from the happiness of members. The leader should focus on the happiness of members. A leader’s position requires more sacrifices than members.
In case a couple went to a mall. One of them wants marketing and another wants to watch the movie. Then one of them needs to sacrifice the choice because they have to be together. If they went separate, they make their relation weak. Because being together generates attraction which leads to a strong relationship. Most appropriate for both is to think about what is important “a choice” or “the person”.
God has gifted more things to the human two of them are brain and heart. The brain is for earning benefits and the heart is for building a relationship. So, in the case of a relationship don’t use your brain only, use your heart too. In the case of a close relationship, use your heart only not the brain. Because the brain handles benefits and the heart handles a relationship.
Understandings are the most important weapon for a better life not only for the relationship. Who has the understandings that can manage any situation well but who don’t have, that can face challenges in managing situations. It includes many things but we are going to focus on few major things only-
Understanding the situations/conditions-
Understanding the situation is the ability to get to know what happened behind. So that, humans can act accordingly and can avoid getting situations worst. Many types of situations come in a humans’ life few of them are described here-
Sometimes the first partner came from the office or somewhere else. And the second partner starts questioning different things. In some cases the first partner gets angry. The second partner doesn’t try to understand and they start discussing. Later this discussion turns in to quarrel, which is not good. It leads to weakening the relationship.
One more situation is also there- Sometimes one partner is worried or drowns in deep thought. And the second one starts having fun with him without knowing anything. In this condition also the first partner gets angry or irritated which spoils the relationship.
For these types of circumstances need to develop a good habit of making comfort for the partner. While a partner is worried or coming from outside. Later ask politely about the reason of worry, about the journey or work he went out for.
Whenever after questioning partner irritates or gets angry don’t react instantly. Try to understand why did he get angry, might be something that didn’t happen well with him. Or might be his journey was full of trouble, which made him irritated.
So, this is also a need to understand the background the partner is coming from. It cures the relationship from getting worst and irrigates to grow stronger.
Understand or Know each other-
In the world, all humans are not the same. Although everyone is unique with their body structure, thinking, mindset, way of doing and speaking.
Everyone has a few bad and few good qualities. So take the advantage of good qualities. For bad qualities first, make him realize that he has this bad quality. And then accept that bad quality with heart and mind.
Once the person gets accepted he becomes normal to the partner which brings strength. Like- When we taste the bitter gourd never react upon it although bitter gourd is quite bitter. Because we accepted by mind and heart “bitter guard is like this”. But when we taste cucumber if it feels bitter we react angrily. Because we never accepted the bitterness of cucumber we use as tasty fruit.
So, if a partner has bad qualities of getting angry or else then the second partner should accept those bad qualities. It stops making complaints.
If I said in one line “Understand and know each other and accept each other however you both are.”
Understanding the need & greed, Important & unimportant-
Understanding about need-greed or important-unimportant is a required quality for life. Because it builds the ability to handle the conflict.
In our general life, if one partner is coordinating with circumstances. And he is focusing on need or importance. And another partner is focusing on greed instead of need. This situation builds the dispute within them, which is not good for a better relationship.
So, the second partner should also focus on needs and importance.
If the partner is focusing on the needs coordinates, in this condition, needs would be still pending which will not lead to better living.
So, both partners need to understand what is the need and what is important. Because it avoids dispute between them which helps in getting stronger their relationship.
Being practical is a quality that inspires a person to think practically. Otherwise, human starts flying in the imagination. Because of this most of the people give the suggestions very easily. But they never think whatever they are suggesting is practically easy to do or not.
Few of the persons suggest a big input for a small result, is it practical? Not, because no one wants a big investment for a small result.
In a relationship also need to think, whatever you are requesting to do or expecting is practical, easy, good according to the situation or not. Focusing on this makes the work easy for the partner which is good for the relationship.
Without coordination living is impossible. Because life never stays the same always, it has so many problems, challenges, barriers, and more. Like- sickness, sadness, losses, worries and more. In this condition, no one is perfect that can resolve all his problems by himself. Then he needs to take help from relatives or others.
If you live in your family and your wife is sick. Then you must take care of her and need to complete a few of her work which is important and urgent. Like- cooking, washing clothes and marketing and more.
In your office, if your colleague sought leave for his personal work. There also he must hand over the charges and someone must take for few days.
Same with your friend also if he is suffering from a financial crisis then you must help. This cooking, taking over the charges, and helping are a kind of coordination.
It builds the trust that you will never leave them alone and always take care which makes the relationship stronger.
Sometimes at home, your partner has a lot to complete and is still busy in completing them. And you feel free, in this situation, you should help your partner. It will make a different image in the partner’s view, that is of taking care which leads to a stronger relationship.
In your daily life whenever you feel free or able to help. Help your partner which will fertilize the ground to get your relationship stronger.
Note: When we do our partner’s work or help for coordination. It takes time which we had to use in our work, which means our work would be still pending. It shows that sometimes for coordination we need to compromise with our plan, will, and wants.
Across the globe all things require caring. But living things more than nonliving. If we talking about humans then we need to care for more things for a strong relationship. Like-partner, his loving and favourite things, his likes-dislikes, and more.
Sometimes, if one partner is sick. Another must take the doctor for treatment. Brings the medicine and tells the precaution that the doctor suggested. Gives medicine on time, asks for the needs and state of sickness. This is not the full caring even we need to do the major works that the first partner used to do. Those are urgent & important i.e. cooking, washing, marketing and many more.
Sometimes, at home one partner is doing work and the second one is free. In this condition also the second partner should try to help the first one. This shows that how much caring the second partner is for the first one.
Caring for all these things arranges the big place in the prime area of the partner’s heart. It plays a major role in building a strong relationship.
Caring for all these things arranges the big place in the prime area of the partner’s heart which plays a major role in building a strong relationship.
Make feel happy-
Making someone happy automatically builds the connection. Because this is human’s nature that he/she wishes to be happy. So, he/she loves to have those all things that make him/her happy.
Not the human-only even too many things is also out there which make a man/woman happy. Like- favourite dishes, hobbies, entertainment many more. The things which will make him/her happy and because of you those things are available. That’s why he/she will love to live with you.
Being healthy and fit is the basis of happiness. If someone is not feeling healthy, how can he/she be happy, so take care of the health and fitness that makes a human happy.
So, we should always mind the favourite things which make the partner happy by using or having them. If he/she loves to visit places. Like- markets, cinemas, historical places, take them there when you get the opportunity. Because these all things make him/her happy and this happiness will build a strong connection between you both. If I say in one line “Care and avail those all things what makes your partner happy.”
Three letter word called “Ego” is the most dangerous enemy of the relationship. It spoils our relationship easily and never allow us to build again. Most amazing thing is that we couldn’t understand how did this happen? So we should keep our Ego away from building a strong relationship. But the thing is need to know how did this take place?
One word is known as self-respect and this is the most important thing for a human. Because it shows the value and importance. But when this self-respect grows higher than the position it turns into the Ego. So we always mind the position for maintaining self-respect. Here is a life’s incident of a great person Gaur Gopal Das
Once there was a dispute between him and his father because of this he stopped talking to his father. After that, he came to Mumbai and became a monk. A few days later his father came to him and apologized. But he did not forgive him. When his mother said “forgive your father, talk to him, he is your father, son” because his mother said he started talking. Later many times he went to his father for saying sorry for not talking. But his Ego of being right did not allow him to apologize. One bad day he heard bad news of passing away of his father, came and sat close to his feet, and cried tears. He shared that, every drop of the tears was crying and saying “sorry dad I should not have done this to you”. But his father was no more to listen to him.
So, be polite, whenever Ego comes to you use your brain and think about what is important for you, your partner, or your Ego.
As I have shared that doubt is an enemy of a relationship. So when doubt will take place automatically relationship gets weak. In most cases, doubt takes place in absence of clearness. So, whenever convey anything make sure everything should be clear. So that doubt could not take place which will protect the relationship from getting weak.
Mind your words-
Basically, using of the appropriate word is the core of communication skill, which is a need of human. Because a human has to build the relationship everywhere. In the family with members, in the job with colleagues, in business with customers, in the profession with clients. Unsuitable words change the meaning of sentences that present the good things as bad which is a major reason for the weak relationship. So always mind your words so that, it should be present the things what you really want. Some time unknowingly we speak few words which hurt others, which is also not good. So, always try to use appropriate and correct words.
Finding the goodness-
Goodness is the quality that attracts people and motivates them to live with. And living together nourishes the relationship. So always find the goodness in your partner and keep memorizing it.
In another way, when a man recalls the goodness of someone, it draws an imaginary image of a gentleman. And this is the quality of a man that he always likes gentleness and love to live with the gentleman which makes the relationship stronger. This happens automatically with ourselves. Like- If I ask you the goodness of your favourite things, you can count easily. Because you memorize always that made your favourite.
A great person has said, “When someone hurts you write it on the sands, and when someone helps you write it on the rock.”
So, always focus on the goodness of your partner.
Ignoring the badness-
This is the opposite of finding goodness. When a man memorizes the badness of someone. It makes an imaginary image of a badman that everyone wants to stay away from. Because it makes the relationship weaker instead of stronger. If I ask the badness of your hating things you can count easily because you memorize always that made the hating. So always ignore the badness of your partner.
In a human’s life, all kinds of situations come. Some of them are good and some are bad. When the situation is good then it feels passing very fast because we enjoy it fully. But when the situation is not good then it feels passing slowly. Because of this, it becomes more difficult, which makes most people irritated, hopeless, angry. Those who are hopeless need help from partners. But those who are irritated or angry might be unable to have a normal conversation. They get angry or irritated on quite little things, as I have shared which is not good for a relationship.
So, in this type of circumstance, we need to have patience. Having patience is the quality that tries to turn a bad situation into good one. That’s why everyone should have this quality. So, in the opposite circumstance have patience, keep yourself calm, use your brain and memorize one line “This time will get past soon”.
Spending time together–
This is the natural quality of living things. If you spend time with your pet frequently it automatically builds the connection. As time passes this connection gets stronger.
The same happened with the partner also when both spend time together they share the thing. Like- personal things, worries, good news, problems, incidents happened, happy and sad moments, and more, Might be they suggest solutions for each other’s problems and worries, have fun, love each other, do the planning, and more. These things enhance trust, understanding of each other, and caring. It boosts the speed of growing relationships stronger. Both can spend time at home. But spending time at different places is more fruitful if the budget is allowed. Because newness is more joyful than oldness.
If both live together for a long time then both should always realize the importance of each other. Getting separate is a good way to realize because we feel the importance of the thing while we don’t have that. For this, your female partner can go to the parent’s home for a few days, if you go to the out of station for office work for a few days that is also good.
One of the human’s qualities is to bring energy by memorizing like- while you watch any patriotic movie you memorize the duty towards country then one energy generates inside you that make you ready to do big for the country.
The same, when you attend the motivational seminar you memorize that you also want to do big then one energy generates inside you that makes you ready to do big.
The same happened with you and your partner also when you celebrate the moments like birthdays, anniversaries or any other happiest moments together that memorize the feeling of love of that time which makes your relationship stronger.
Use these tools in your life and make your relationship stronger, be happy, and Aage Jao.